Posts Tagged ‘travel’

I started this story 2 days before my birthday – two days before your memorial service.

And we even made it in the Tribune, which still seems weird to me.

I think, ultimately, Kerouac said it best:

“I hope it is true that a man can die and yet not only live in others but give them life, and not only life, but that great consciousness of life.”

You definitely do that for me, Joe. You definitely do that for me.

I’m finishing it today – your birthday. It hit me really hard at work today. I realized it was your birthday and I picked up my phone to call you.

And I realized that I couldn’t do that anymore.

And for the first time in a very long time, I had to run out of my work space and hide in the bathroom and start crying. And I didn’t want to stop crying. But I did – in what you would say was “record time, for you” – and finished my day. And I don’t expect that it will be an uncommon occurrence over the next few days.

At lunch, two of my new friends came with me, and we all sat, had a beer, discussed D&D, poetry, and random things, and split food. And listened to you all the way to and from the restaurant. And I listened to you play a lot today, Joe. I had to. I probably will in the next few days. I still listen every week – it’s pretty much a habit, by now, an unconscious thought, a thing I do to complete every week I have.

I did on my birthday, too. I was driving to Dallas, and I put the first CD I ever got from you guys – hell, remember? You got me in the show and I promised to buy a CD, and I did. And that’s the CD I was listening to.

I still can’t believe that you’ve been gone this long. I feel bad I didn’t write this in time for your book.

You brought my life so much, and I don’t know that I told you enough.

If there’s one thing, just one thing, that I can do, in memory of you, it’s to make sure I treasure every moment – friends, family, work (oh man, you should see our Nerf fights) – and I do my best with what I can.

But I still remember seeing you, through the window of the coffee shop, reading a poetry book, and I said “I have to go in and talk to him, because he obviously likes poetry and has good taste.”

And I’ve never regretted it. You knew the shy me, the one a lot of people didn’t. And I remember everything… mostly everything. Including the stuff I’ll never tell anyone.

One day we’ll all laugh about this, together, again. I have faith. I have hope.

“And peruse manifold objects, no two alike, and every one good;
The earth good, and the stars good, and their adjuncts all good.”

Say hi to Walt for me, Joe. Ask him all the questions that we always wondered. Even if you can’t tell, at least you’ll know. And we can all fill it in someday.


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It’s just.. I’ve been a bit busy writing for other places! Like The Footy Blog, talking about Benfica 🙂

Also, I’ve been studying very very hard in school. So hard in fact, I got a 97% on my American Lit exam. I think I got a 70ish in American Lit last semester on my first exam. Funny, how that goes.

But, dear blog, after studying anywhere from 25-50 hours a week, I tend to forget enough words to go here. But I promise, I’ll do better.

After fall break and I lock myself in the library for a week. And next week, I’ll be heading to Austin.

But somehow, in there, we’ll write some more, together.

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I’ve been tossing around my ideas for writing for Speak out with your Geek out.

And honestly, the only thing that comes to mind? poetry. Which is, in all fairness, fairly geeky to me. And since it’s been a while since I posted a freeverse… I’m just riffing on a bunch of things I’ve been told over the years, stereotype or otherwise. And it probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. But hey… sometimes that’s me too.


Say What?

You laugh and say I live in a world
of fantasy and I ask you what is more
realistic – a land of elves and fairies
or a land where people say one thing

and do another. Which is more honest?
Me, pretending to be an armless fairy
in a game or you, telling your girlfriend
you love her via phone while you roll your

eyes? Yes, I wear big glasses. Yes, I’m
clumsy. I’m not a barbie doll – think more
50s era girl with a different mentality
about many, many things. Like it’s -really-

awesome for girls to play video games.
(I’m fairly sure the game companies have this
figured out – I don’t see too many guys
running around with pink 360 controllers and

rose coloured DSes. Okay, I fit that stereotype.
Sue me. I love pink.) Yes, dear, I DID play
Counterstrike on PC. Dirty rotten camper?
(de_dust and cs_office were my faves)

Oh, I can’t possibly care what’s under the hood?
Did you know my dream car is a 67 Shelby?
Did you know I HAVE a dream car? A girl can’t watch auto
racing? and like sports? Pardon me, I need to laugh.

After all, no girl could sit through game
after game after game week in and out
and care beyond “omg, they look good in their
uniforms.” (That’s just an added bonus!)

Please note my sarcasm on the topic. Would
you care to comment on the state of the financial
situation of the club? or perhaps on the
fluidity of the defense in the latest match?

Switching topics – yes, I know all the words
to the songs I’m hearing. yes, I may have
sold merch before. Once or dozens of times.
Did you just seriously ask if I fuck them?

Honey, i work with the bands, not on them.
Not everyone is a stereotype. Many of us ignored
“you can’t” and went straight to “watch me do this”
because of people like you ….

Maybe one day, they’ll make the molds
out of us instead of trying to fit us
into them. Who knows? In the meantime,
care to play a game?


Please note.. this is just me sitting here, rambling about things I swear I’ve heard in the past 5 or so years off and on. Not PC, it just is what it is. If you’re offended by it, I don’t mean to offend anyone. But I hope that it makes people realize that it doesn’t matter if you’re a girl or a guy, you can be interested and love and, in fact, geek out, over virtually anything.

And it’s okay. In my world, at least, it’s encouraged. I encourage anyone who read this, even if you think the poem was awful, to be yourself. It’s always best to be yourself. It’s never any good to be anyone else.

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My class has had.. only one? maybe two? reunions in the 13 years since we’ve graduated high school. My entire graduating class was 32 people. (No, that’s not a misprint).

So when my boyfriend asked me if I would like to accompany him to his 25th year HS reunion, I really wanted to.. not just because I had never been to one, but because it would be interesting to hear all the stories about him. *grins*

So, it was over the weekend in Toledo, Ohio. And I had a blast. It was very interesting to meet so many people from his past, as well as share stories and realize that even though they were graduating high school at the same time I was graduating kindergarten, it’s really the same experiences spread over various years. There were the geeky kids, the jocks, the musical type, the slacker type… all who had their own stories and their own various things in life they had to struggle, fight through, and become the person they are today.

I have to admit it was a bit interesting dealing with… various people who, for one reason or another, think that the age difference matters one iota to us. When I was at the reunion, it was fun to tell the story, but it was even better knowing that we’re all adults, and once that happens, age isn’t anything but a reminder. Everyone was very sweet, pleasant, and very, very nice.

The rest of the weekend was spent meeting some of his family and learning more about our various pasts as well as each other. I highly suggest a hometown visit with your significant other at some point… it’s very fascinating, and very illuminating.

And now I even have reunion stories to tell.. and pictures to hide from on Facebook.

PS: Any hotel that shuts down a room party… then offers a lobby for the afterparty at 1:30am? Totally rocks. Thanks. 🙂

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As I’ve been reflecting upon the past week… there have been a lot of things that have gone on in those particular dates – July 3-July 10 – in my life.

I’ll start out by saying this July 3-4 were some of the best of my life. I got to meet my wonderful friend Quinn. I’m so happy I got to meet Quinn – she’s the kind of person I know I’ll have in my life until my life no longer exists. ❤ in an unrelated thing, got to say yes to a question that undoubtedly has and will change(d) my life forever. (yay for happy cryptic messages.)

So.. here's the sad parts, and they are really rather personal and painful. So.. bear with me.

The most recent.. and rather, very painful.. was the passing of my cat Truman last year on the 9th. I was going to write a blog post about it, but this one will suffice. I still miss him so much. I cried and sobbed and had to bite back the sobs that wrack your body and soul when I was telling someone very special about him. I feel guilty because I haven’t been able to donate as much as I wanted to to the Veterinary Cancer Society. When I get a job, I will… or when I win Month at the Museum.

Me and my cat Truman!

Further back a few years… 2004. It was I think 7.6 or 7.7.04. I went to see Lucky Boys Confusion in Myrtle Beach at the House of Blues. I then drove back to Wilmington, NC, where I lived, and headed to the airport to go pick up my cat Sheba.

Yes, you read that right; Bathsheba is from Las Vegas. She was rehomed with me because of a kind person donating their frequent flier miles so a rescuer could bring her to me (as I already had Furball at this point, and Nicky, and both were somewhat feral, another feral cat didn’t bother me, and it greatly helped the rescuer).

So I turned left into the airport, I saw a flash of light, and felt a sudden lurch and pain all around me, smelled smoke, and when I opened my eyes I’d spun 270 degrees and my car’s totalled. I got out, looked in hers, saw 3 kids under the age of 10, no car seats, her screaming for a lawyer, and I just walked over, sat on the curb and the grass on the side of the road out of the way and stared at my car. I remember someone asked if 911 was called, and someone talked to me. My parents called going “We have a weird feeling, are you okay?” and that made me start hurting everywhere and crying. Oh, man, did I hurt. I still feel that hurt some days.. snowstorms make my left leg almost impossible to stand on, for example.

So I ended up in an ambulance on the way to the hospital… laid there in the ER in a cold room for almost 2 hours, by myself, no one to check up on me.. couldn’t do anything.. apparently the accident made the news and the ensuing cleanup actually blocked off the airport road for 5 hours that night.. Later she tried to sue me for the $300,000 medical bills she accrued.. while the lawyer got me off the hook (as uh, sorry, it wasn’t my fault she blew a red light), he wasn’t able to get State Farm to pay my medical bills that were overdue, so until a couple years ago I was still repaying ~$15k that insurance didn’t cover. (It’s since been paid off.)

I had a CAT scan, tons of Xrays.. was sent home with a prescription for a painkiller that i was allergic to. For 2 days after the wreck I had no painkillers (I have a super high pain tolerance…. ) caught a cab to the motel where the rescue lady was staying at… the taxi driver was kind enough to help us get up to my apartment, turned off his meter while we got the cat settled, and didn’t charge her for the time. (we tipped him a lot). I also called him a couple of times so i could get prescriptions filled (again, two days after for painkillers). I still, to this day, have scars from the accident, which is why i won’t wear some clothing, I’m so self conscious about it. They remind me too much. (I have a scar on my hip that is from the seatbelt cutting through 5 layers of clothing). I had bruises for weeks. Even today, I have problems with my left achilles tendon locking up on me. I have a weird … thing, phenomenon… whatever you want to call it… with my collarbone that cracks and even after xrays we can’t figure it out. My neck is naturally weakened and my back (i have scoliosis) has even more issues because it didn’t really heal correctly after the accident. Stuff like that.

As not to completely dampen everyone’s spirits.. I remember two weeks afterwards loading up a rental car with my friend Echo and driving to Boston to pick up a friend Krissy from Norway and go follow Hanson and The Whatnot up and down the east coast a bit. This trip was planned long before I had my accident, and it was happening.. come hell, high water, or bruises from head to toe. Thankfully they were super flexible and the rental car company gave us a gorgeous car to drive… At least I wasn’t on crutches anymore (though it might have helped to fight off the teeny boppers). It was beautiful, and everything AND I MEAN EVERYTHING hurt, but it was so worth it. Also, rental car + driving in Manhattan = holy… never again thanks.

There’s a reason why I wear a seat belt, and why I require others to wear them in my car. That’s because wearing a seat belt was the reason I walked away from this accident. This is a 98 Cavalier and I hit a Caddy head on .. I was doing less than 20, she was doing 45.

front view of my car, 7.2004

closerup view of my car.

inside car

driver's interior view

I broke the head visor thing when I smacked it and ate the airbag.


this umbrella was in the trunk. when the back seat broke, it rocketed up into the passenger seat and bent the handle. (It’s an emily strange umbrella with cat ears. I’ll never find another one.)

I have pictures still of all my bruises and such, but meh.. no need to post them. These make me cry enough.

I know who was watching down on me that night. That’s a blog post that will never be written.

So, really.. is there an Ides in July?

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So even though the Declaration of Independence wasn’t signed until July 6, we celebrate here in the USA on July 4.

I believe that the current modes of celebration are both good and bad.

The great parts – family getting together, partaking in yummy food, great fellowship, amazing fun. I have been up at my friend Quinn’s family near KC for the past day. We got to meet up, run around, had a great time last night, and saw fireworks overlooking the lake. It has been a very good time and completely worth it. I have met some very kind and generous people.

The bad parts – people using it as an excuse to go get drunk, drive, otherwise operate machinery that they shouldn’t, and accidents occur. Not to mention all the fires from unnecessary fireworks, accidents from those, need I go on? This is not the reason for this day. You all know where I’m heading with this.

My family has been in America (on my mom’s side) since 1732 (no folks, seriously. Not Portuguese..) and while I never joined the military, I have a LOT of friends and family that have. I’m rather outspoken about it, and I have a rather.. abrupt opinion of anyone who decides to start ragging on anyone who is a veteran or active duty. While you (and I, sometimes) may not agree with why or what our country does, that does not mean we do not support our fellow humans, our brothers and sisters, our aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, parents, classmates, guy down the street who always seemed a little off after Vietnam, the kid that you remember from 8th grade English who you saw walking one day down the street and… no, that’s true, he’s missing a few fingers.

I cannot understand why humans feel the need to do things like war. I can understand fighting for something bigger than you, for something that is worth it. For this, I thank every military member out there, regardless of branch, regardless of years. You’re doing something I cannot.

So, on this Independence Day, I offer 3 videos. Watch them. Look at them. Listen to them. Think. Think of your actions.. not just today, but every day. Think of how you treat your fellow man. Think of how, instead of hurtful words, how kind actions could change our world. Then, maybe, there would be no need for all the things we cannot make sense of.

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If you’ve heard of the video game “Mirror’s Edge”, you might be familiar with it.

If you’ve heard of a guy named SkyNative, you know who one of the best is.

Back in February/March, a show came on G4 called “Jump City: Seattle.” In it, 16 different traceurs (people that freerun/parkour) are on 4 different teams and they compete for the title. The show was 8 episodes long. I watched every one of them. Multiple times. (I blogged about it here)

It’s now been a shade over 3 months since I wrote that entry. What have I learned?

-Learning how to fall is important. Had I not been practicing falls over these months when I gave myself a concussion in Chicago, I’d have busted my face, glasses, nose, and anything else. Instead, I just gave myself a concussion because I had no way to know the sidewalk was uneven. Had it not been, I’d have rolled out of it fine.
-Running headlong at an inanimate object that might or might not kill you or injure you in some ways is A LOT OF FUN.
-I love wall climbs over things.
-I still can’t run more than a half mile if I’m just running, but if I’m doing Parkour, it’s a lot longer than that.
-Trying to freerun in glasses is just asking for it.
-Right – and I’ve dropped 28 pounds. 😀 (hey, not ashamed. I started doing this to get back into shape. I’m doing it now for both that.. and I LOVE IT.)

I don’t think I can ever do the things they do, but if I can eventually get a back flip down, I’ll be so happy.

Until then, I’ll stick to the lower jumps and rolls.. and figuring the best way to land.

My hope is that when I finally get to visit LA, I get to attend Tempest Freerunning Academy. I really would love to go just to be able to watch in person.. and get some help and advice. (As far as I know, I can’t find any other traceurs around here).

I’d also love to interview anyone from Tempest for The Kitchen Sink… Levi and Luci Romberg are two people that I really admire. (I hate the word idol).

But hey, let’s let freerunning speak for itself.

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