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Posts Tagged ‘quotes’

I originally posted this in Reddit’s /r/Ravenclaw subreddit, but i wrote enough that I thought I should just turn this into a Facebook post.

Then I realised I haven’t written here in quite a long time, so it now serves as a blog post.

Do you need good books? Here are some good books.

1. The Good Fairies of New York by Martin Millar – Fantasy meets reality as a pair of drunken Scottish Fairies on a romp almost start World War 3 in modern day New York City while running around with a group of normal New York people. Seriously, it’s a riot and Neil Gaiman wrote an introduction for it.

2. Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman. When I was 14, I was given this book by my English teacher. This was my first all nighter. It changed my life, I started writing, and within the year I had been published in national magazines for poetry and I am still writing over 20 years later. I will graduate in 2-2.5 years with a triple Bachelor’s in Creative Writing and History Education and I attribute it to this book. I own it in two languages and I am reading it in Portuguese right now as that is my second language (the third being Spanish). I cannot tell anyone how much this book means to me, but how relevant this book is to even now in life.

3. A Sound of Thunder by Ray Bradbury. Easily the best science fiction story I have ever read, the best short story I have ever read, this book overall is overlooked often and should never be overlooked. If you have heard of the Butterfly Effect, it originated here.

4. The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. You are noticing a trend. Yes, I have classics on this list. Do not be scared; classics are here for a reason. They are not meant to scare you away, they are meant to draw you in. This book is an everyman book – this is real life. This still happens, in different areas, in different places, but this still happens nowadays. Don’t sit with a pen and paper, or feel like you have to because a teacher set you for a book report. Download it free on a kindle app, and read it a little bit at a time. Get into Jurgis’ story, put yourself in his shoes. Transport yourself into his time. You’ll find a newfound respect for anyone who has a job that they have to do to survive; a surprising empathy for anyone who has to keep fighting no matter what the world goes after them.

5. Any of the alternate fairy tales by Gregory Maguire. I especially adore the Wicked: A Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West and the ensuing Trilogy, and After Alice, as I am a huge fan of Alice in Wonderland.

6. The Alice series by Carroll. all of it. It is by far my favourite Fairy Tale series of all time. I don’t care if it is the Disney version, or what. You give me the option of Hogwarts, of Wonderland, of a TARDIS, of Narnia, of Tolkien, anywhere.. I will choose Wonderland. I will always choose Wonderland. (Oh, now I’m sobbing again…)

7. Watership Down series by Richard Adams. It helped me, when I was much younger, to understand the concept of death, to understand the concept of a possible afterlife, to understand that animals, that every living thing can have feelings, emotions; it does not matter what you are, or how you believe, you can feel, you can act, you are alive, even for a short time, you can influence the world.

8. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. I picked it up for $1 before a trip, and it was one of the first books where I had to read it at least half a dozen times before I could understand what was going on. Sometimes I will read it and I will understand it in a completely different way than I ever had before. It is a book written in a different frame of mind than any book I had ever read previously or since.

9. The Madness Vase by Andrea Gibson – Poetry is now and forever a part of my life, and this poet, for all the modern poets, has been the one to influence me to always want to keep writing. Or never want to keep writing. But I got to see them speak, and perform, and I realised that if I gave up now, I would not be able to do what I need to do, which is write. So I keep writing. And I keep dreaming. “You, you stay here with me.”

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My friend Jeremy J. Sutton said this today, and.. it’s perfect.

“It’s officially Veterans’ Day, and this is where my mind goes when I think about what that means. It’s not about one person or one group one day a year. Today is no more the day to think about veterans’ issues than MLK’s birthday or Cesar Chavez day are to think about race relations, or the day of your local Pride parade is the one day you should be aware of LGBT issues. October isn’t the only month for Breast Cancer Awareness, Valentine’s Day isn’t the day to celebrate your loved one, and Thanksgiving isn’t the only day to be thankful for all that you’ve been given in life.

Here’s a challenge. Take a minute every day to step out of your own shoes. Stop and genuinely think about someone else’s struggles in our society. Think about the extraordinarily high suicide rates of veterans and LGBT youth. Look at the disproportionate incarceration rate of minorities compared to whites when faced with the same charge. Take a look for yourself at the gender pay gap, and ponder why only 5.2% of the Fortune 500 have female CEOs and only 5% have minority CEOs.

Better yet? Do something about it. Contribute to a non-profit that supports a group you don’t belong to. Challenge the views of those around you through thought provoking conversation and polite debate. Read. Watch. Educate yourself. Enlighten the world.

Don’t just say “Thank you.” Show your appreciation.”

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I’m sick. I’m still accepting I’m sick. I’m having to accept I can’t run on all cylinders 15+ hours out of the day. In fact, I’ve had about 1 total hour since I’ve been awake that I’ve felt reasonably normal, and even then I’m maybe at 50% of firing. I feel like someone who is beaten down. I keep kicking myself internally because I can’t do these things. But it’s not my fault I got mono, and it’s not my fault I have zero energy to get things done. It’s a matter now of making sure I stay hydrated, eat enough to survive, and sleep when I feel like it, work on papers when I feel like it, and pray everything works out in a good manner. I’ve resigned myself that I might never get to work at my school again for my work study this year. I have not yet conceded my semester to this illness. I’m a fighter, down to my marrow of my bones.. and right now, I hurt.. to the marrow of my bones. It takes a lot for me to complain about being sick.

I hate feeling negative, so I’m trying not to. Both with not surrounding myself to it, and having it come from internally. So I’m dumping it all in this entry. *breathes*

Something I’ve noticed, especially lately, is the incredible and insane amount of negativity on Twitter.

I realize quite a few of the people I am thinking of are over 10 years younger than I am (or in that nebulous kind of range) and not only will probably not read this entry, but would feel it’s okay to mock it. I also notice that many of them are slyly insulting me, and my friends, behind my back, defollowing me on Twitter, etc. And that’s fine. If they feel the need to make themselves feel better, more power to them.

But they’re wrong in doing so. They are doing themselves damage. No – not because they’re ignoring me (me? that egocentric? nah), but because they’re ignoring my message.

10 years ago I’m not 100% sure I would have accepted what I (and Bill Hicks) are about to say, but I hope the aforementioned people decide to read it.

This much negativity towards: people you don’t like, things you don’t like, people you are jealous of, people you are trying to get attention from and cannot, situations where all you exude are negative feelings, thoughts, and emotions.. have you ever considered, for one minute, that the person on the other side of the internet is EXACTLY THAT? a PERSON? with their own sets of feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

Switch places. How do you feel now? Would you HONESTLY be able to cope with the adversity and all the negativity being tossed at you?

Chances are, I doubt it. But – again – I do not know, as I do not know a lot of these people and I will not project negativity at them. I will hypothesize and say no. I don’t pretend to know your life. I don’t think I ever could. However, that doesn’t exclude me wanting to find out more about you – as a human being, as a person, as (insert name here), so I can understand you – and it – better.

Something I’ve realized, since I was 18, is how crazy people get on the Internet. How insane people can take it offline. I didn’t grow up with the Internet like most of the world.. my first exposure was when I was.. 16? 17? Life is different now.

So, an anecdote. Here’s something I don’t talk about much: I used to have a stalker offline. She sent me death threats. She brought them to concerts where I was working. She put nails in my tires when I had a 3 hour drive home at 2 am so I might get run over when I got a flat (her words). (PS, this is pre-cell phone – in fact, i still carry around a prepaid phone card, not because I need it, but just because.)

Would you like to know why? Because I dared to not have sex with a band member of a band I worked with that she was OBSESSED with. More specifically, “You told him no, and you should die for that.”

I’ll let all that sink in a bit.

Now.. that’s pretty much one of my excessive examples. But any kind of passion taken to the extreme negative like that always gives me chills. it also gives me a damned good perspective: there is no reason – no reason – to be nasty with someone you have never, ever met.

People do not realize that their negativity means they will draw more and more of it to them. I didn’t understand this until this year, but I understand it in dividends right now. I have people keeping me sane right now, because they care enough to tell me “you’re being silly. quit being hard on yourself. you didn’t make yourself sick, but you can make yourself sicker unless you take control of yourself.

I hear you guys. I hear you. And I thank you for continually saying it to me. And I ask my friends to hold me up while I’m sick, because it’s really devastating to me. This is just this important to me, and needed to be said, and out of my head.

I promised a Bill Hicks quote, and he says in just a couple paragraphs what I’ve spent a ton of energy on and after this I’m going to go nap. (Emphasis mine)

“The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it’s very brightly colored, and it’s very loud, and it’s fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, “Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?” And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, “Hey, don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.” And we … kill those people. “Shut him up! I’ve got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.” It’s just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn’t matter, because it’s just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here’s what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.

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I’ve been tossing around my ideas for writing for Speak out with your Geek out.

And honestly, the only thing that comes to mind? poetry. Which is, in all fairness, fairly geeky to me. And since it’s been a while since I posted a freeverse… I’m just riffing on a bunch of things I’ve been told over the years, stereotype or otherwise. And it probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. But hey… sometimes that’s me too.

~

Say What?

You laugh and say I live in a world
of fantasy and I ask you what is more
realistic – a land of elves and fairies
or a land where people say one thing

and do another. Which is more honest?
Me, pretending to be an armless fairy
in a game or you, telling your girlfriend
you love her via phone while you roll your

eyes? Yes, I wear big glasses. Yes, I’m
clumsy. I’m not a barbie doll – think more
50s era girl with a different mentality
about many, many things. Like it’s -really-

awesome for girls to play video games.
(I’m fairly sure the game companies have this
figured out – I don’t see too many guys
running around with pink 360 controllers and

rose coloured DSes. Okay, I fit that stereotype.
Sue me. I love pink.) Yes, dear, I DID play
Counterstrike on PC. Dirty rotten camper?
(de_dust and cs_office were my faves)

Oh, I can’t possibly care what’s under the hood?
Did you know my dream car is a 67 Shelby?
Did you know I HAVE a dream car? A girl can’t watch auto
racing? and like sports? Pardon me, I need to laugh.

After all, no girl could sit through game
after game after game week in and out
and care beyond “omg, they look good in their
uniforms.” (That’s just an added bonus!)

Please note my sarcasm on the topic. Would
you care to comment on the state of the financial
situation of the club? or perhaps on the
fluidity of the defense in the latest match?

Switching topics – yes, I know all the words
to the songs I’m hearing. yes, I may have
sold merch before. Once or dozens of times.
Did you just seriously ask if I fuck them?

Honey, i work with the bands, not on them.
Not everyone is a stereotype. Many of us ignored
“you can’t” and went straight to “watch me do this”
because of people like you ….

Maybe one day, they’ll make the molds
out of us instead of trying to fit us
into them. Who knows? In the meantime,
care to play a game?

~

Please note.. this is just me sitting here, rambling about things I swear I’ve heard in the past 5 or so years off and on. Not PC, it just is what it is. If you’re offended by it, I don’t mean to offend anyone. But I hope that it makes people realize that it doesn’t matter if you’re a girl or a guy, you can be interested and love and, in fact, geek out, over virtually anything.

And it’s okay. In my world, at least, it’s encouraged. I encourage anyone who read this, even if you think the poem was awful, to be yourself. It’s always best to be yourself. It’s never any good to be anyone else.

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I’m in the process of moving to a city that’s roughly 50 miles away for next semester. I’ll have a much smaller area, and therefore can’t bring/pack everything I’ve grown accustomed to having.

So I am forcing myself to finally start going through the mountains of containers and boxes I have in a storage area here. I have been finding a lot of random things, but the most exciting is a book I was given in 2002. It’s dark green, with the lyrics of a song that I absolutely adore, from someone in my life that still is a major influence (whether he knows it or not).

The cover has autographs of a lot of musicians that I have worked with and whose music has influenced me over the years. I have all 4 members of Vertical Horizon, Angie Aparo, Barry from Carbon Leaf, and Andy from VaCo (with an original saying <3). I have a space on the top of the cover of the book where eventually, hopefully, I will get Dave Matthews or Glen Hansard to sign it. Keep dreaming, I know….

But a long time ago I started writing poetry (as in, 1990 – I was published in 1992 the first time I believe) and I've kept track of a lot of the random poetry I used to scribble here and there in this book.

Then I misplaced it for YEARS. years. So I have poetry scattered half a mile across creation. Every time I open a box with papers I am COMPELLED to check every one of them to make sure I'm not throwing away half a novella I started when I was bored in class. I do find bits and pieces here and there.. originally I was going to keep them all in this book, then I lost the book. Now I found it again. I don’t have much of an excuse anymore, do I?

This is what takes me so long to go through storage and pack. I have a lot of memories, and a lot more written words than I'll ever admit. (at minimum 750 poems just from 2000-2005 alone, not to mention my completed play and the 2 novels I'm working on…)

So I'm constantly on a hunt to try to gather the bits and pieces together and solidify them into the myriads of journals I have lying about.

I should do this more often, but I don’t; I’ll post an original poem that, while I know and remember the particular situation, a lot of it still seems to ring true even almost 10 years later. It’s quite interesting to me to see how something I wrote then applies oh so well to now too.

“Departure”

Last few moments
before I lift away
back to everything familiar

yet not as familiar as
your scent as you
hold me close to your beating heart

I know what I have to do
and that’s let go and walk
on, turning the page

and starting another chapter
in the sketchbook of my life.
So I look in your eyes

one last time, squeeze your hand
and run away silently
turning around for one

last fleeting glimpse I find
you’ve run silently on
swiveling around

not opening my mouth lest
I start bawling.
No goodbyes said

though the chapter may be
done, there is no
“the end”.

~29.4.02

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Bill Hicks, in my mind, is one of the best comedians to ever grace the Earth’s presence.

I wish I could write about him, but the best thing is just to post video after video after video. He’s got books out, there’s even a movie (a few…)…

He was taken from the earth too soon, he was a genius beyond measure. He was taken by pancreatic cancer at the age of 32.

But I’ll let him speak for himself.

If you like what you hear, go get his cds. Go see the movies/dvds. Listen to what he says… take it to heart.

“I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.”

“Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.”

“We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.”

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Walt Whitman is my favorite poet. He wrote my favorite book, Leaves of Grass. The name of this site, many of the tabs, many of the jumps, are all taken from “Song of Myself”.

Walt Whitman is the reason I want to become a poet.

If people have never read him, they need to. I am such a fan that I can barely talk coherently about him without babbling incessantly.

So.. do yourself a favor. Follow this link and read him. Just do it with an open mind, when you have a moment.

If you don’t feel something… I will be surprised.

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