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Posts Tagged ‘fumono’

My doctor called me today, and I got some interesting news.

Good news: My actual full blood check came back fine. I am not anemic, all my other levels look good.

Bad/good news: My mono test also came back negative.

Whatever I have isn’t standard mono.

I am on steroids now, and I will be for over 2 weeks total, trying to get my swelling down and help me feel better.

They give me more energy, but it’s fake and it drains me when I realize that when I am ready to tap into my reserve of energy I usually have, it still has not returned.

So, what do I have? I won’t know until Monday the 21st. And then I hope that my visit shows that it is something we know what it is, and can get it out of me, so I can be back to full strength. I am tired of not being at full strength, physically and mentally.

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Homework is always hard. It’s harder when you can’t remember half of your day, and most of what you read right after it.

My boyfriend decided to stay through the entire week to help me out with homework and with life. I’ve always been so independent and it is very difficult for me to admit when I need help.

So even though I am sick, and I am able to go outside, I am still not 100%. I am weak, with moments of even more weakness.

Having someone to watch over me, to help me through things when I can no longer get them through my brain, when I can no longer function on my own… this is an amazing feeling, and it is one that helps show, truly, how someone is in their life.

You can have a long distance relationship, you can talk about hopes and dreams… you can make them happen, but it’s times like this – when someone takes time out of their life, to show you how much you mean to them…

It’s not what you think.

It’s even a greater feeling.

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One of the joys of college – College Health – basic medical visits that are included in a semester fee.

One of the ‘joys’ of not having medical insurance – going to a hospital, filling out forms, and not wanting to know exactly how much my blood draw and tests will cost.

At least needles do not bother me in the slightest.

And I found out I had only lost about 4 lbs.. not 10. So I have been doing some things right.

Am also on steroids, and I do not like them at all. Fake energy is no fun. At least my swellings have gone down a bit.

It feels weird not being able to do things. Not having the energy where I usually had it. I am just… perplexed, really, is the best word for it. I cannot comprehend it, my mind cannot wrap around it.

And.. I miss going to class, and I can’t wait to get back. (I’m WEIRD).

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My boyfriend came up for the weekend and decided to stay with me for the week. His job is wonderful in letting him do this (while he is basically telecommuting). With his help, I am hoping to get through enough schoolwork this week to not have to take incompletes in any/many classes.

It is so hard for me to concentrate on much at all. I really don’t have a lot of energy. It is nice to be able to go out, though. I don’t trust myself to drive, so once a day I have been going on little excursions, with help to and from the car. I feel like a semi-invalid.

For a fairly independent person, having to rely on someone else is a rather new experience.

And I have less and less energy, and I sleep more now. So maybe this damned virus will run its course.

In the meantime, I have someone here to help me through it.

And to get me out into the sunlight once or more a day.

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Well, I have called myself a geek for years. Because I’m pretty sure I am one, in at least the standard, if not the deviant, form of the word.

However, there’s been one giant page in my geek handbook that has never been stamped.

“STAR WARS”

That’s right. Never seen em. Any of em. Saw most of the original once and was so confused I said “Fuck it, until someone explains it to me, I’m not going to bother trying to figure it out.”

Many people have said “oh, we’ll watch it, I’ll explain it.”

Well, I FINALLY WATCHED IT. My (amazing) boyfriend is here taking care of me right now and decided that it is a perfect time for us to start watching.

And the other movies are stacked up right here too.

I guess I can knock that page out in my book.

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Antibiotics are working. I do not have all the symptoms that I have been suffering from (most of my cold/cough/congestion is gone, unless I lie down).

However, it means that my mono has come out in full force. I ache all over, I have severe cramps in muscles, my headache is almost like a migraine by the end of the day. I can be sitting here and before I know it a couple hours have passed. I force myself to eat 2 meals a day and even then I am not hungry at all. For me, to take a bath is about the most exhausting thing I can do.

My homework is still sitting here. I have kept up on reading, but I am finding I don’t retain it. This is scary for me. I can’t tell you about at least half of the past week since I’ve been at home. I space out more than normal. I wish I could sleep more.

Anything that is rough material physically hurts me. My comforter is of flannel material, and I have a Linus approved fleece security blanket. I have other blankets around me, and those are mostly fleece/super soft. I’ve found out a lot of my tshirts are too painful to wear, and fuzzy pants are the awesomest thing ever. My cat tries to walk on me and I bust out crying because he weighs too much. (Fortunately, I can pet him and he is very happy.)

Laundry piles up. Recyclable bottles pile up. I feel terrible because I can’t physically do anything without the world spinning, turning white, and causing immense pain.

Thankfully I can watch movies (some even for homework) and a lot of footy.

I’m going to get worse before I get better. I’ve felt worse with every passing day. Never doubt that I’ll end up fine on the other side, however.

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I feel terrible today. Just the facts. Antibiotics are kicking up a fever, and today’s the first day I can actually tell I’ve lost weight. By that I mean I’ve lost 8 lbs in the past 6 days. I do not like being sick.

So instead I’ll post my homework schedule. It’s more for my ease… and to talk anyone out of ever taking multiple lit courses in the same semester. Or to reveal how much of a masochist I am.

AL: Test due 14th November. Paper due 16th November (topic: Emerson or Whitman?). Keep up with reading.

BL: Paper due. Exam due 14th November. Essay 2 due 2 December 3pm (Chaucer, Franklin’s Tale). Final 5 December 1030am. Honors Project due 5 December 3 pm (Gawain meets Alisoun). Crapton of reading.

Film History of WWII: Finish Sahara writeup. Do A Walk In The Sun writeup. Do The Best Years of Our Lives writeup. Film Project (Swing Kids, Grave of the Fireflies, Hitler’s Children) due 21 November. 5 film reviews due before final. Exam 5 Dec 1pm.

Music App: Chapter work every week. Final due 8 December (3 part, 30 minutes per section, 11-12 questions a chapter, 3-4 chapters a section)

~

so yes.. there’s a reason football blogging has taken a back seat. Sorry footy friends.

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