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Posts Tagged ‘me myself and I’

I am typing tonight as my cat is curled up around my feet, my head is firmly resting comfortably between two pillows and two stuffed animals, and I’m watching Battlestar Galactica. Again. Actually, for the first time in a long time since I hadn’t had a way to watch it previously.

I’m tired. It has been a very long month, if not a couple months. My room feels like a disaster (though it’s not that bad – cluttered, not dirty, there is a difference). I did a ton of laundry over the weekend, after all my insanity was done.

This week I’ve had a few interesting conversations. I’ve been taking classes online this semester – unfortunately next semester I will be driving 3 times a week at 50 miles one way – but I’m taking 5 classes (15 credit hours). While it’s very difficult, it’s doable, and the classes are mostly useful. I can’t say that I really LIKE taking Macroeconomics, but I am learning things. Plus, raising my D in the class is just not an option I can afford to miss.

The disadvantage is that I never get to really meet my professors. I can email them and talk to them, but I don’t get a great chance to interact much. I had to go on campus to talk to my advisor about classes next year (Brit and American Lit I, Film History of World War II, and Music Appreciation, if I’m lucky).

Since I was on campus and having to do some research anyway, I decided to drop in and meet one of my professors I didn’t know. It was lovely to meet him and absolutely helped my week out. Being able to make silly references to anything from Doctor Who to Nathan Fillion to the Bunny with Sharp Pointy Teeth.

Also, he reminds me of David Tennant. Which is awesome.

That seemed to start my week out well, despite the crushing amount of homework I had. It got done, but barely. My head fought hard with itself. It was not an easy thing. But I made it.

I was pretty close to just tossing up my hands and saying “oh fuck it” this week. Thankfully, I have some amazing, amazing friends who would stay up late and talk to me on Skype, make me feel better about myself, and have some amazingly deep and sensitive conversations. Other conversations that took place really helped my overall thoughts and made me realize HOLY CRAP NAB IS 3 WEEKS AWAY.

Then I had a breakthrough of sorts. And I blame a TV show. Not in a bad way, but after I got all my homework done, I sat down and had a DVR fest of Jump City: Seattle. Jeremy kept saying “you need to watch this, you need to watch this you neeeeeeeeeeed toooooooo.”

He was right.

If you’ve never watched this show, start. It’s on G4 on Tuesdays. It’s about parkour/freerunning, theories, holy crap can he really do that in competition? It’s about amazing things people can do when they put their minds to it. Some of the stuff they do is just astounding and mind blowing.

I had a few friends around DC that did this a few years ago, and I watched them do it and did a few things – mainly just learned to fall correctly (which I mostly knew because of skateboarding aeons ago) and a couple basic things. Not nearly enough to do much of anything.

Anyway, I watched the entire series so far. Twice. (5 episodes). And I realized a few things.

First, I need to get over my insane crippling fear of heights.
Secondly, I need to get back in shape.
Third: I feel like making a real change.
Fourth: I want to be able to do a backflip. Always have wanted to. Could do back handsprings and such, but never really mastered a backflip…
and last, which I keep discovering: running full bore at an inanimate object is rather fun… it’s more fun when you’re able to go over it and not hurt yourself.

So yes, I’ll be flat out honest and say that Jump City kind of is a new inspiration for me – I don’t ever expect to be as good as they are, but it’s a goal. Sometime I’ll be able to do a few things I want to do, and maybe more. Just taking it slow.. for now. I know I need to be a better shape than round (ok, I’m not -that- bad but I’m not like I was.) and if this is the way to make it there, at least I finally want to do something for myself.

It does mean I’ll have to get contacts, because glasses and running over and around in things simply doesn’t mesh. And I’ll probably change my hair around a bit. Because I want to feel a difference. I want to feel better about myself, have fun doing it, and hey, if it means I’ll be able to one day do a few nifty tricks? perfect.

but in reality, it’s a huge step because I’m finally doing something for -myself-. A few things, actually, but some of those just remain private.

So the girl who can’t run a mile is going to try to start. All in hopes one day of doing some pretty awesome things.

And I can’t say that any of this is a bad thing.

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