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Antibiotics are working. I do not have all the symptoms that I have been suffering from (most of my cold/cough/congestion is gone, unless I lie down).

However, it means that my mono has come out in full force. I ache all over, I have severe cramps in muscles, my headache is almost like a migraine by the end of the day. I can be sitting here and before I know it a couple hours have passed. I force myself to eat 2 meals a day and even then I am not hungry at all. For me, to take a bath is about the most exhausting thing I can do.

My homework is still sitting here. I have kept up on reading, but I am finding I don’t retain it. This is scary for me. I can’t tell you about at least half of the past week since I’ve been at home. I space out more than normal. I wish I could sleep more.

Anything that is rough material physically hurts me. My comforter is of flannel material, and I have a Linus approved fleece security blanket. I have other blankets around me, and those are mostly fleece/super soft. I’ve found out a lot of my tshirts are too painful to wear, and fuzzy pants are the awesomest thing ever. My cat tries to walk on me and I bust out crying because he weighs too much. (Fortunately, I can pet him and he is very happy.)

Laundry piles up. Recyclable bottles pile up. I feel terrible because I can’t physically do anything without the world spinning, turning white, and causing immense pain.

Thankfully I can watch movies (some even for homework) and a lot of footy.

I’m going to get worse before I get better. I’ve felt worse with every passing day. Never doubt that I’ll end up fine on the other side, however.

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I’m suffering through some of the worst writer’s block I’ve had in quite some time, so I’m struggling even now with every word I put on this post. But I need to start pushing myself, I have too much to do.

For Halloween, my Hutchinson Community College KNEA-SP Future Teachers group is holding a trunk or treat. It benefits the Reno County Food Bank and is a donation drive. We’re going to have a car decorating contest, story telling tent, etc. (Press Release will be at the bottom of the post). It’ll be nifty and awesome, if you’re in Central Kansas on Halloween night, grab a can of kid friendly food and head on over. I’ll be manning the admissions table.

Did I mention the costume contest? Yeah. That… Now.. uh.

How do I put this in plain language…

Halloween is my Christmas holiday. I LOVE THIS HOLIDAY SO MUCH IT IS UNBELIEVABLE.

So there’s a nifty costume contest, and by gods, I wanna win.

I’ve narrowed it to two costumes, and I’m having an official vote. Between here and my Facebook page, I’ll be taking votes as to what character in costume I should be. Reminder: I’ll be dressing up even for classes as this character.

My two options are:

Abby Sciuto from NCIS:

I’ve been her a couple times now for Halloween. This was taken at the Wicked touring cast aftershow in Wichita KS Halloween night, 2009.

OR

Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter:

I have since tweaked the outfit – I have a much better fitting uniform underneath the robe, I have fingerless gloves that match the scarf (but it was too damned hot to wear them that day), etc. I have yet to wear this for Halloween and have only worn it once.

So, I ask to all of my digital and otherwise friends: Who do I portray for my favorite holiday of the year?

You can post a comment here or on Facebook. I’ll add them up and announce the winner in a week.

~

Official press release is below for more information on the event:

Spooky stories, ghoulish goodies, and creepy contests are all in store at the Hutchinson Community College Future Teachers Group Trunk or Treat, located in the small parking lot around Stringer Fine Arts Center on 11th street in Hutchinson. The event is open to the public from 6:30-8:30pm on Halloween night. Admission is a can of kid-friendly food that will be donated to the Reno County Food Bank or $1 per costumed trick or treat participant.

This event includes HCC students holding both a “Trick Your Trunk” car decorating contest as well as the “Mysterious Masquerade” costume contest. Over $50 in prizes will be awarded to First and Second place in both of these contests. A haunted reading tent will be available for spooky storytelling throughout the event. Early Bird prizes will also be available to the first 75 costumed participants. There will be plenty of candy to share. Children under 10 MUST be supervised by an adult chaperone.

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This school year has started off well. My job is going okay. I don’t talk about it much due to privacy – I work 2 days a week at an elementary school with first and second graders in a public school district here. My voice is still adjusting to being able to.. i mean, (unfortunately) needing to… roar at kids now and then.

I could not do it 5 days a week, week in and week out. Two days a week is plenty for me. Teachers, yet again, I salute you.

I want to bottle their energy and sell it to college students.

Classes are going well, I think. I adore my history class and I’m actually enjoying British Literature. American Lit… well, I’ve deduced that this teacher and I just don’t gel well. I’m trying. Music Appreciation, the “easy A” that i needed to boost my GPA, is actually the worst class of them all. I have a solid C and I’m studying almost harder for it than any other class!

It is still early in the semester, though. At this time last month, I was still looking for a place to live and didn’t even have all my college books yet. So in a month I’ve completely moved (in the process had to separate my cats, which is really tearing at my heart more than I am letting on), gone through over 50% of my belongings and sorted trash, donate, sell and keep piles so far, started a new job and new classes.

is it any wonder I’m tired? Nah.

It will get better though. And I have a picture I look at at least once a day that reminds me why I am doing this now… for a better life. This few months will be long, but I will one day be able to look back at it and not only be glad I did it, I know how good it is for me, for my future, and for the future of others in my life.

And while I hate being cryptic, I will just state that there are a few things going on in my life, all positive, and all awesome, just not that I’m talking about here. (yet). :)

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I’m in the process of moving to a city that’s roughly 50 miles away for next semester. I’ll have a much smaller area, and therefore can’t bring/pack everything I’ve grown accustomed to having.

So I am forcing myself to finally start going through the mountains of containers and boxes I have in a storage area here. I have been finding a lot of random things, but the most exciting is a book I was given in 2002. It’s dark green, with the lyrics of a song that I absolutely adore, from someone in my life that still is a major influence (whether he knows it or not).

The cover has autographs of a lot of musicians that I have worked with and whose music has influenced me over the years. I have all 4 members of Vertical Horizon, Angie Aparo, Barry from Carbon Leaf, and Andy from VaCo (with an original saying <3). I have a space on the top of the cover of the book where eventually, hopefully, I will get Dave Matthews or Glen Hansard to sign it. Keep dreaming, I know….

But a long time ago I started writing poetry (as in, 1990 – I was published in 1992 the first time I believe) and I've kept track of a lot of the random poetry I used to scribble here and there in this book.

Then I misplaced it for YEARS. years. So I have poetry scattered half a mile across creation. Every time I open a box with papers I am COMPELLED to check every one of them to make sure I'm not throwing away half a novella I started when I was bored in class. I do find bits and pieces here and there.. originally I was going to keep them all in this book, then I lost the book. Now I found it again. I don’t have much of an excuse anymore, do I?

This is what takes me so long to go through storage and pack. I have a lot of memories, and a lot more written words than I'll ever admit. (at minimum 750 poems just from 2000-2005 alone, not to mention my completed play and the 2 novels I'm working on…)

So I'm constantly on a hunt to try to gather the bits and pieces together and solidify them into the myriads of journals I have lying about.

I should do this more often, but I don’t; I’ll post an original poem that, while I know and remember the particular situation, a lot of it still seems to ring true even almost 10 years later. It’s quite interesting to me to see how something I wrote then applies oh so well to now too.

“Departure”

Last few moments
before I lift away
back to everything familiar

yet not as familiar as
your scent as you
hold me close to your beating heart

I know what I have to do
and that’s let go and walk
on, turning the page

and starting another chapter
in the sketchbook of my life.
So I look in your eyes

one last time, squeeze your hand
and run away silently
turning around for one

last fleeting glimpse I find
you’ve run silently on
swiveling around

not opening my mouth lest
I start bawling.
No goodbyes said

though the chapter may be
done, there is no
“the end”.

~29.4.02

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Walt Whitman is my favorite poet. He wrote my favorite book, Leaves of Grass. The name of this site, many of the tabs, many of the jumps, are all taken from “Song of Myself”.

Walt Whitman is the reason I want to become a poet.

If people have never read him, they need to. I am such a fan that I can barely talk coherently about him without babbling incessantly.

So.. do yourself a favor. Follow this link and read him. Just do it with an open mind, when you have a moment.

If you don’t feel something… I will be surprised.

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This musical needs to be revived.

It’s about people in their ordinary jobs. It gives them a chance to be extraordinary.

I can’t express how much this musical needs to be revived. I win the lottery, I’ll figure out a way for this to happen.

It’s based off of a book called “Working”, by Studs Terkel. Amazing book. I think it should be required reading for everyone.. especially government workers.

It’s my favorite musical. The song I’ve linked below sounds different in the musical version, but it is the essential same song. (most of the YouTube versions, to me, are terrible.) Also, the French verse is just awesome.

If I were given the option to sing one song, on Broadway, to a packed house, it’d be Millwork.

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I felt I needed to delineate both topics. The Wicked book and subsequent musical hold a dear place in my heart.

Wicked is the alternate story/parallel of the Wicked Witches of the Wizard of Oz written by Gregory Maguire. It has 2 sequels, but the original is brilliant.

The book is an absolute must read. I don’t care what kind of book you like – you simply MUST read Wicked. I would say just buy it, but going to your library is another awesome option.

I absolutely refuse to spoil it, so you can look it up on your own. This goes for both the book and the movie – Wiki has tons of spoilers throughout, so if you don’t want to spoiler it, DO NOT LOOK IT UP.

The musical. The original Broadway cast was absolutely amazing. The subsequent casts have been amazing. Stephen Schwartz is a brilliant composer and assembled an amazing team of individuals to bring together this amazing show. Have I said how amazing this show is? Yeah. I saw it twice on Broadway – the second time 3? days before Idina’s last day, from 6th row that time (6th row! oh my god.) I also took my parents to see it on Halloween night in Wichita, and we also had AMAZING seats. (They really, really enjoyed it. It was their first real musical.)

The original cast starred Idina Menzel (who, if you haven’t realized by now, is someone I greatly admire), Kristen Chenoweth (also a woman who I highly admire), and a PLETHORA of others.

The music … for someone like me, who used to have a 4.5+ octave range, it was simply heaven when I heard it the first time. Every time since then, I still get chills down my spine when I listen to it. I can’t really do Galinda (It’s Glinda, with a GA, to paraphrase) – Kristin’s voice is just too ethereal, and too high for me. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t sound as good. (and no wonder..)

But I still try, because it’s good to push my limits.

99% of Elphaba’s parts are perfect. Out of any musical I’ve ever sung pieces out of (with the exception of Millwork from Working… also by Stephen Schwartz), Elphaba is the only character I can sing any song from and do it with confidence. (The other character is Nessarose, who is the Wicked Witch of the East. Pity my favorite song of hers is one that is not on the soundtrack. :( )

I know this entry seems paltry, but I really can’t express how this musical and book make me feel. I identify so, so strongly with Elphaba in so many ways in both versions. More than I think anyone on this earth knows.

I’m having so many problems figuring out what video I’d like to link here. Defying Gravity? maybe. For Good? Possibly. In the end, it comes down to two of them for me… and I can’t decide after 5 hours, so I’ll link them both.

This one is just audio. The Wizard and I, by Elphaba.

This doesn’t do it justice, but it was oh wow. I just. Wow. I love this song for all it says, for all it doesn’t say, and it’s just a beautiful love song. This is probably the one duet I would love, love, love to be able to seriously sing with someone.

As Long As You’re Mine, by Elphaba and Fiyero.

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I love to read. Anyone that knows me knows that. I’ve been reading since I was 2 – not just Dr Seuss books, but newspapers before I was 3. I was always accelerated through school and reading books that no one my age should have been reading. If I need to comfort myself, get time for myself, whatever – I turn to books. I can go into a fantasy land and never leave my precise spot here on the universe.

I’ll go into a few of my favorite authors by the end of this month, but suffice it to say I LOVE reading. I love books. I recently got a Kindle for my birthday, and I’m loading it up with free classics. I keep reaching up to the corner to turn a page, hilariously.

I LOVE books. I love the feel of them, I love the way they smell (except if they’re old and musty in a dirty not just musty way).

They make me happy. And that’s why I’m a fan.

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This came across my email a few days ago, and I think this has a lot of potential to me. Not that I don’t have a ton to write about already, but sometimes I need to not feel pressured to make something “absolutely amazing and stellar.”

~

A message to all members of NaBloPoMo

Hi bloggers,

June’s theme for daily blogging: FAN. There are the physical ones, the symbol of summer in the northern hemisphere. I’m sitting across from one right now, and it’s cooling down the room. There are the handheld ones that women demurely shake in front of their face. There are the human ones — the fans we see at sporting events or the fans we see in our comment section. There are the times it comes tucked into a word… such as “fantastic.”

~

So, 30 days of things I’m a fan of. You ready for this? Some of them will startle you. :)

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Hey! Hutchinson Community College! Y’know I’ve gone here for.. uh. 3 years come the fall. I know how it works. I’ve been in school a while. I understand the textbook racket. Really. Ya all sell used copies at overinflated prices and pay us peanuts, and claim that “you’re saving us money” by doing so. In reality, many kids just overpay because they’re lazy.

I get it. I understand it’s a stressful time for everyone – myself included. I specifically drove the 51.2 miles one way to school today to sell back my books, which means you can take out $12 from my total just for the gas alone. I’m not a math major, but when it comes to *my* money, I’m smart about it.

I came armed. I wrote down all my figures from my How I beat the College Textbook Racket post I wrote about 4 months ago. I know what I paid. I know what Amazon pays. I know what eBay pays. I know what the bookstore sells em for. This is not me being rude, this is me being a smart shopper.

I also knew that the bookstore buys back books if you buy them here and keep the receipt for 50% of the price IF they need them, and 35-50% if they don’t depending on their stock- their discretion. They basically get 60%-70% resale value on books, which is a damn good profit margin, I think most companies would kill for it.

I knew all of that.

So, with all this in mind… you *might* want to tell your booksellers to not get pissed off when I say “No, I didn’t buy my books here, but I came to sell them back because I need the money and I know the bookstore needs people to sell books back to keep stock for next year.”

When they start blathering how I’d have saved money had I bought them here, and I politely say “Not $100 plus dollars worth”, they shouldn’t get offended. (if I would have bought them all new at the bookstore, it would have been a lot more than $100 worth, but I digress. The point is made.) I haven’t had a job in a year and a half. I’m a shopper. If I can find a better deal somewhere else, I’m going to. It’s my right to get the best value for my money. (in fact, if I didn’t need money so bad they’d have -all- gone on eBay). And I admit, I was a little annoyed – but I was polite. Terse, but polite. I bit my tongue so hard I still have blood in my mouth, as a matter of fact. (Yes, I have a temper, and I know how to control it, even with little sleep)

It’s when the buyers start saying I’m rude, have an attitude, and refuse to buy my books that I have a problem. When they claim that over half my books have water damage – pretty funny since the only one that does I didn’t even bother to sell back, I’m keeping it – and then continue to carry on, and then say “well we aren’t buying your books so you just need to leave”. The girl Megan (sp) keeping saying how I’m rude and immature? Very nice, really. It’s immature to want to know the price of every book that you’d buy back so I can compare to see if I can make more money somewhere else? Since when was saving money immature? The guy behind me raised his eyebrow and mouthed “wow, they’re mean” as I was walking off.

So I loaded them all up again, walked upstairs, then someone in business office called the bookstore manager Anita. She took care of me.. kind of. The book buyers said “well her books are damaged so they aren’t worth buying” was *completely* uncalled for – when I pointed out that it wasn’t water damage because there was no discoloration, the Megan girl going “You should just be quiet and quit being rude”… Let’s just hope that we both don’t have work studies in the same place next year, honey, because I can SHOW you rude. (I don’t think I would, but I’m just angry right now.)

Most of mine were bought new. I took online classes so the majority sat on my floor unless I was traveling or using them. I am VERY PICKY about my books, I treat them like gold. There’s a reason I have so many VF+ old books in my household. I respect them. Even if I hate them.

So yes – that one that you said was water damaged? You hadn’t bought any of them back yet, and they need them next year. Funny – Anita bought it without a problem, especially when she learned the code was still intact and that they had 0 in stock, and I showed her what real water damage looks like versus average use on a page.

Anyway, obrigado to Anita for buying back the few you did. Even though the 2nd one of mine really isn’t water damaged, it’s ok. I can sell it on eBay for $70. You’d have given me $35. you sell it for $100. I wish I could make that kind of profit.

PS, the used copies you guys did have when I came in to check them out last year? Almost all were in worse shape than this book. torn covers, pages stuck together/discolored, so much writing that you couldn’t read the text. (it’s not water damage – it’s flimsy paper that has creases because it’s flimsy paper.)

Anyway, final count:

I got $90 back total. I don’t know how much each was individually, as they really wanted to be rid of me..

I sold back:
Psychology (I paid 66.53 used, the bookstore sells it used for 79.99, it’s 105.99 new, and it eBays for $45. I’m guessing I got ~$42.50 for it.)
John Connelly’s The Book of Lost Things (I paid 5.57 used, used for 10.99, new for 13.99, it ebays for $5. I’m guessing I got $5 for it)
American Lit II – 3 volume set (I paid 43.47 + tax NEW, bookstore used for 50.99, new for $67.50, ebays for $35, and I’m guessing I got $42.50 for it).

They would not buy back my Macroecon book because of “water damage” on one page. (I paid 69, bookstore used it 109.70, bookstore new is 147, eBay price is $70. They were offering me $35. Uh… nothx anyway)

I haven’t sold back: British Literature II, and now I’m not going to be able to due to this. (oh well. Their loss, since they need them as they had 0 used copies when I checked in the beginning of spring)

And I’m keeping my Fairy Tales book.

So really, it did behoove me to sell back to you guys because I don’t HAVE to deal with eBay.

PS: Next year? I’m not even going to bother coming to buy/sell books here, unless there’s a significant difference in price and quality. I don’t know that it’s worth it to deal with this bullshit again. And I’m one of the most understanding people in the world, but don’t treat me like I’m some wet behind the ears green dumbass college kid.

Now, I have a final to finish and a paper to write.

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