This is a weird day in my life. I was put on bedrest yesterday. As most people know, I’m NOT the kind of person to just sit around and do nothing. Fortunately I have tons of schoolwork I can / need to work on (hello, Chaucer paper due tomorrow), and of course I have my awesome laptop Miranda (yes, my electronics are all named.) NaBloPoMo is also going on, so that’s a good distraction.
However, the real reason this is weird? I’m not usually one to get sick. There’s a 50/50 shot right now that I have mono. Actually, that percentage was of 9 am yesterday and it’s definitely swinging in favor. I am not researching it, as people would accuse me of being a hypochondriac; I have a very close friend who suffered from it for some of his life, so he keeps talking to me whenever I have questions.
and the symptoms just keep stacking up. The magic 8 ball of Mono keeps going “signs point to yes”.
Fortunately I have some amazing friends that will help me through it… but I’m not a person who likes to ask for help. I’d rather be the helper than the helpee. It’s very difficult for my brain right now to realize that I SHOULD ask for help for things… like going to get more bottled water, which I’m keeping by my bed, so I don’t have to get up.
But… I am just slowly falling into this illness feeling, no matter how I fight it, because it saps my energy terribly. I think my biggest use of energy now is NOT falling behind in school. I don’t care if i can’t go to work, can’t leave my room.. but me falling behind in school after I’ve worked so hard and so long on things, I just can’t deal with.
Even if it’s going to completely sap my energy and all I can do is look at my homework and move my fingers and type it out, I’m not falling behind.
I have way too much willpower to let that not happen.
I also feel like I’m whining, like I’m being a burden, and that I should just suck it up and deal with it.
Maybe I am too hard on myself.
One of those questions I just can’t answer.
I just trust that my friends understand I really don’t mean to sound like a spoiled rotten sad brat.
I just.. honestly, truthfully, feel this crappy.