In every bar there’s someone sitting alone and absolutely absorbed
by whatever he’s seeing in the glass in front of him,
a glass that looks ordinary, with something clear or dark
inside it, something partially drunk but never completely gone.
Everything’s there: all the plans that came to nothing,
the stupid love affairs, and the terrifying ones, the ones where actual happiness
opened like a hole beneath his feet and he fell in, then lay helpless
while the dirt rained down a little at a time to bury him.
And his friends are there, cracking open six-packs, raising the bottles,
the click of their meeting like the sound of a pool cue
nicking a ball, the wrong ball, that now edges, black and shining,
toward the waiting pocket. But it stops short, and at the bar the lone drinker
signals for another. Now the relatives are floating up
with their failures, with cancer, with plateloads of guilt
and a little laughter, too, and even beauty—some afternoon from childhood,
a lake, a ball game, a book of stories, a few flurries of snow
that thicken and gradually cover the earth until the whole
world’s gone white and quiet, until there’s hardly a world
at all, no traffic, no money or butchery or sex,
just a blessed peace that seems final but isn’t. And finally
the glass that contains and spills this stuff continually
while the drinker hunches before it, while the bartender gathers
up empties, gives back the drinker’s own face. Who knows what it looks like;
who cares whether or not it was young once, or ever lovely,
who gives a shit about some drunk rising to stagger toward
the bathroom, some man or woman or even lost
angel who recklessly threw it all over—heaven, the ether,
the celestial works—and said, Fuck it, I want to be human?
Who believes in angels, anyway? Who has time for anything
but their own pleasures and sorrows, for the few good people
they’ve managed to gather around them against the uncertainty,
against afternoons of sitting alone in some bar
with a name like the Embers or the Ninth Inning or the Wishing Well?
Forget that loser. Just tell me who’s buying, who’s paying;
Christ but I’m thirsty, and I want to tell you something,
come close I want to whisper it, to pour
the words burning into you, the same words for each one of you,
listen, it’s simple, I’m saying it now, while I’m still sober,
while I’m not about to weep bitterly into my own glass,
while you’re still here—don’t go yet, stay, stay,
give me your shoulder to lean against, steady me, don’t let me drop,
I’m so in love with you I can’t stand up.
Holy crap. it’s the last day of the month. really? I seriously got rid of 465 things either by throwing out or giving them away or selling them? -really-?
I’m more amazed that even after that, I still have thousands of things around here. crazy huh.
Anyway – today, the last day, I got rid of 30 sample sized toiletry items as part of a giant box I am going to sell on Craigslist for cheap. Things like lotion, hotel soaps, etc. Since I have been doing a lot more freebies online, I’m getting a ton more samples, and I wanted to cycle out some older ones / ones I’m just never going to use.
It freed up a ton of room in 2 drawers, which is lovely. :)
This has been an amazing project. I’m glad I did both at the same time. I may still continue to do the minimalist game from time to time, too. It’s a good way to stay accountable.
Thanks for following, thanks for reading!
I have been a huge major collector of makeup for many many years. I had more than any one person needs. Over the course of the past few years I have been trying to sell and pare down, but for the hard part my brain, it is something I am very addicted to buying and having.
I finally got kind of tired of having the same swaplist, and I decided to just go whole hog and get rid of all the makeup that I’ve had sitting in a tote.
I managed to sell 29 eyeshadows! TWENTY. NINE. I didn’t make a lot of money, but that wasn’t the point. The point was to pass them along… I still have at least 100. it’ll take me a while to get rid of more. But I’m happy, I got rid of my stash!
I love lipgloss. A lot. more than any human should. I also collected it for a long while. Fascination with makeup, all that fun stuff. But I’ve been having a lot of “issues” lately trying to get rid of things, and I always tried to sell/trade this kind of stuff for a higher price. I finally decided to let it go.
I sold 28 items worth of lip makeup to friends! Not at a high price, but the satisfaction of getting it gone is well, well worth it. :)
I’ll have more to get rid of, too. I kind of got stalled and overwhelmed when sorting. But this is a great start.
Today’s stuff was definitely more recycling, as there was a lot more paper in the box that I was going through, but I still trashed some older stuff and then put more into the sales boxes. Again, sorry I’m vague, but it really is a push to just finish the month out. I can’t believe how much “crap” I’ve gotten rid of.
I still have more stuff, too. ARGH.
I finally started going through some items in storage, and I just kept pulling stuff out going “Really? I still have this? do I need it?”. Anything from old clothes, to some old paperwork that I no longer needed.
Sorry it’s so vague, but I trashed some, recycled others, and yet added more to the boxes to get rid of. And it was a lot of “stuff”.
I cleaned out some old bill drawers today. There was a LOT of paper. 25 pages easy. probably 25 x 10 pages, actually. Lots, and lots, of paper.
But hey, drawer space! We like drawer space!
Also, I started my new job today. I am very tired.